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Is my boyfriend is gay/bi/interested in men?
Background: I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary in terms of our sex life. He has only asked me for anal sex twice and that was because I was on my period and we didn't have a condom...Um...yeah...pretty normal in that area. But there are some things I think are a little, suspicious. Please don't criticize me. I'm not that familiar with gay culture. So if I say something that is a bit of a faux pas, forgive me. I mean no harm, I really just don't know.

1. Every day, literally, he goes over one particular friend's house. In fact, when he used to come home from college, you could guarantee that he would be over his house THAT DAY and every day thereafter until late at night. I've met this friend, and he is effeminate kind of like my boyfriend. At first, I brushed it off as they're shy, soft-spoken guys who just like anime and video games but I'm a woman and I don't spend nearly that much time with my girlfriends!

2. He has this fascination with male bonding. I don't mean it in the frat boy "We're bros man!" Kind of way because frankly my boyfriend is not the stereotypical meat head you would think of who says these things. He's always talking about all the plans he wants to do with his friends (including that guy whose house he is over ALL THE TIME!). I know he really wants to have exotic guys only trips to places like Las Vegas and Jamaica and when I tease him and say I'd come along too, he always says "Noooo. it's a GUY'S trip, that's the point!"

3. He likes to watch prison shows. You know that program called Locked Up? He watched that a lot at one point. He had it on demand and he watched the whole season. Things always got awkward when the prisoners started discussing sex in prison.

4.We recently had a discussion talking about whether or not people are born gay and how God would judge them. Now, personally I don't really know the answer to this because I'm not gay and I'm not God. BUT, I decided I wanted to be a bit of a hard *** just to see what he would say and where he was going with this. I would say things like "Homosexuality is a choice!" you know, something inflammatory just to see where his head was at. He would say things, "I always wondered how God would judge those who were born gay." Nothing too strange, but the way he kept saying, "imagine if you had urges and you were just born liking women" and really trying to show me how it's hard to control urges I thought it was questionable. I would let the subject drop off...and he would revive it. Finally he ended it with, "well, it's just interesting that they could help religious people who wanted to change if homosexuality was genetic." My bf is religious.

4. With that said, you probably think he might just be liberal and open-minded, right? Well, ironically, whenever a man is openly gay around my bf, he is uncomfortable around them. He will look hard at them, shake his head, and say "that's not right." My bf is a black man and as a result has very strong ideals of masculinity and avoids all things that look, smell, act gay. Self-loathing?

5. As previously, stated, he is kind of effeminate. I know, I know, there are masculine gay guys. But I always see this listed as a warning. However, I will say that I always chalked this up to him being kind of nerdy. He is more of brain over brawn kind of guy.

6. Before me, he never had a real girlfriend...I find that strange because he was in his early 20s, in college when we started dating. He had 3 girls he liked but it never really got past a six month, cutesy high school relationship with. He also had girl crushes and a one night stand but that's about it. He claims he was too busy with sports to date seriously, but often I wonder if I'm just a cover. I have all the qualities he SHOULD want, but he never really seems to be 100% smitten with me.

Honestly, I don't think he is gay. Perhaps, curious? He likes women, likes giving me oral pleasure (sorry, too much information but I don't think a gay guy would do that), and I caught him with straight porn on his computer before. Now I have asked him outright several times before if he was gay, every thought about another man, or had a crush on a man. He always said no. But I realize I approached him in an "angry black woman, I don't take no ****" manner, so I could see how he might not have been truthful. In retrospect, I realize that I probably haven't created a dynamic between us where he would feel comfortable sharing something like this with me (if he is gay/bi/whatever). But I can't take back the past. But I mean hell, it's been three years. Let's not waste anymore time if he is gay. What should I do?

Stop asking yourself if he's gay, and ask yourself if he's cheating on you. Whether he's getting poon or pork on the side, the signs would be the same. If he is, then you have a good reason to leave his ***, or at least restructure your relationship.

If he's not cheating on you, then it's a less urgent matter. Perhaps your BF is into dudes, and hopefully that could be something you two talked about openly, because attraction to other people is normal, no matter how long you've been in a relationship. If he likes guys, then that's fine as long as his attraction to guys is not any more than your attraction to guys that aren't him, and he's still interested in you. Dating a bisexual wouldn't be a big deal, as long as they were honest and faithful in whatever ways they two of you agreed upon.

But dating someone who's actually gay, and you being a woman, that's obviously a problem. If your sex life isn't suffering, and you don't have much to go on other than his devotion to "guy time", then you need to have a conversation (an honest one this time, not one where you're trying to provoke him) about your true feelings, and encourage him to be open with you about his. Don't be afraid to tell him that you'd be pissed if he wanted to break up (whether he's gay, wants someone else, or is just unhappy) and let the relationship continue without saying anything. You can't take back the past, but you can be honest now, and tell him how you really feel while explaining why you were being confrontational and perhaps enigmatic before.

Why does my man prefer porn over me?
My man and i have been together for 2 years, he told me from the get-go that he was into porn BUT not when he is sober but under the influence of cocaine, then it gets really bad. His fetish is anal sex and likes the raunchiest black and latino porn out there. A few times, he has kicked me out of the room, locked it and told me to come back later. This scarred me internally like noone's business. I have gone out of my way toplease his sexual appetite and fantisies. Gave up my anal virginity to him and ONLY him. We broke up for several months and during that time he became sober-- i told him how i felt about what he did to me and him telling me that i didnt "have what it took" to keep him interested and he said he didnt mean that and would never do it again and he gave it a good try but now, just last weekend, he did it again. We were to have a special night at a nice hotel which turned out to be one of those places that had more porn channels thatn regular cable channels and i knew i was in trouble. He says, "See whats on the tube" and my heart sank into my gut. Seeing him laying there, whacking off to these gross women -well i cant even describe how it made me feel because im normally ok with porn, and he asked me why i wouldnt come watch it with him and well, i just got sick to my stomache. I went to take a bath and opened the door to turn on the fan and he says," Stay in there another 5 minutes before you come out" i got out and started freaking. He then proceeded to go for it again and i grabbed my shoes and asked for the car keys to go to sleep in the car HE REFUSED, then he said go for a "walk" and look for a coke machine...i FREAKED AGAIN. I then just grabbed a sheet.. and went into the bathroom and cried myself asleep. He woke me up to leave and i was disgusted by the site of him...he knew it and his attitude was very nice towards me.. he asked my forgiveness and i said that if he wasn't so weird the night could have gone so much better and he concurred. I donno why this porn stuff makes me feel so insecure, im not insecure. I keep telling him that if he wants hot porn then i will accept an offer and become a big hussy porn star but he gets furious when i mention that.. why?
What bothers me about it is alot....and i am now having horrible dreams about it--- HELP any and all advice is appreciated, i want to save this relationship because we do have very good sex tofether but it's this little hitch that;s causing alot of internal damage. HELP

Sounds like a COKE prob. more than porn ! I also used to be obsessed w/ porn when I used to smoke crack - he MUST give up the COKE or eventually he'll go psychotic & fantasy becomes more real than reality & he may get violent w/ U !

Question about Bi-Sexuality and being Christian?
How is everybody out there not going to bore you are anything but get st8 to the story I am a 20 year old black male about to enter college in June going somewhere in life I am also a strong believer in GOD and family values...Now my problem...I think that I might be bi-sexual I know that it might be a fad or whatever but its not for me I know when I see a fine woman I dream about her sexually I never really pay attention to men but some do spark my interest but to me Anal sex to me with anybody is nasty but I had meant a great person (male) who was here for me thru a lot of things he's a playa and pretty boy but I did develop a type of crush for him, he had asked me out I said no because I just got of an engagement with my first love (she did me wrong still dated after her on numerous occasions LOL) so I wasn't ready to settle down then when I was ready to finally except that I mean be bi because I know my relationship with God I was ready but he wasn't now I am a little sad, because I had a certain love for him but he did open me up to my feelings I kept inside so I think that I may be Bi-Sexual but wouldn't that make me go to hell?? I wouldn't tell my family either maybe my mama when I know for sure but I might just be confused and then I don’t want to go to College and have the dudes in my dorm not talk to me because of that and all of that can somebody give me some advice thanks for reading...somebody answered this before but I feel like I want all aspects becuz God made everybody and i do know that nobody is going to die one hundred percent perfect I think that is…Be serious if possible

God made you. He made you Bi. You didn't choose this. Do you honestly think he'd create you in such a way that would make him not love you?

I don't think so.

Should i tell my mom to stop?
my mother is the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. she has huge 34f breasts, long blonde hair and really hot long legs. She is really open about sex and has no problem talking about it in details to people. she says f*ck like every other word and talks about her c*nt right in front of me. whenever she has sex she would tell me about it the next day. this morning she said she gave a bj to a guy but it sucked case he had a small dick and that the anal was very good. i know she's a slut, she has sex with different guys every day but, she is my mom and takes good care of me. she always wears really revealing clothes. last week she wore a short black skirt, like at mid thigh and a white button down shirt with the top 3 buttons undone so you could see her bra. yesterday she wore a pink shirt that showed so much cleavage that the shirt was like a centimeter above her nipples. she caught me staring at them and then she said "what are you looking at brandon, your mommy's t*ts". it was so awkward. yesterday she went to a party wearing a see through mini dress with nothing on underneath it. she wore a jack over it when she was with me though. she actually makes me so hard. should i tell her to dress more conservative? everyone knows that she is such a slut and she's had sex with like half the town (small town). you could mistake her for a hooker. i think she's had sex for money before. my mom is the town slut. what should i do? please help.

She's an adult and gets to make these decisions on her own unless she's neglecting her responsibilities.

You say she takes good care of you, and the only problem that her revealing clothing seems to cause for you is that it makes you hard (which is a normal state for any 15 year old guy who's breathing anyway).

Since she's not neglecting any of her responsibilities, there's no reason for you to criticize those decisions.